I’m not telling you how to live your life, but I am telling you to get a library stool for your kitchen.

I’m not telling you how to live your life, but I am telling you to get a library stool for your kitchen.

There are very few things I feel confident I actually know anymore. There are even fewer things I feel confident giving advice about. 

In fact, this is pretty much the only piece of advice I feel confident in giving to everyone I know. Men, women, parents, non-parents, everyone needs to know about this. Because I’m about to blow your mind with this one, simple truth. Ready? 

You need a library stool in your kitchen. 

You know what I’m talking about, right? Library stools? Those round, rolling things you find in, well, libraries? You know what I’m talking about. I know you do. Here, this thing: 

“Ooohhh, those things! Yeah! I remember those!”

Yeah you do. And without a doubt a library stool has been such a great addition to my kitchen I am baffled as to what I was doing with my life before it. 

I shall now explain all the reasons why, because, again, there’s almost nothing I feel actually confident about in this world, so if you could let me have this, that’d be great. 

It’s the perfect height helper. 

I mean, duh, right? This is literally the first criteria of any stool, that it makes it possible to reach things your body wasn’t designed to reach. And I can! I can reach tall places now! And even better, my kids can use it and become instantly able to help do cooking projects. And the best part? When it’s time for them to come mix or chop or whatever they can even go get it themselves because…  

You won’t find anything easier to move around.

These things were designed to be easily kicked around by someone with lots of things in their hands (say, maybe, librarians with lots of books in their arms). They roll easier than you remember. My kids can maneuver it anywhere (which turns out to be a blessing and a curse because now they can reach much higher in the pantry than I originally had planned for when storing baking goodies/Halloween candy/“why are you eating that 5 minutes before dinner?!” (That last one is a pantry category all parents know all too well.) 

Anyway, the point is this: there is not a single stool easier to move around with no hands required. And this might be worrying to parents except…

They’re really sturdy 

You might not remember exactly how these work, but as soon as you step on them, they lock down and will not move. No, seriously, they will not move. 

Bumpers! They have bumpers on them! 

So kicking things merrily around your kitchen is great and all, but eventually they’ll run into something. And these things have bumpers on them. Bumpers! So worry not about this easily mobile, sturdy, kickable stool: it won’t scratch your cabinets! 

Bumpers! 

Why on earth do you need more reasons? Okay, fine, you’ll look like a genius when you have guests over because they’ll all marvel at how brilliant this idea is. 

I’m not going to claim I came up with this idea, because I read about it on Lifehacker. But I will claim that the very few people I allow into my unfettered mess of a house have commented on what a great idea it is. And I won’t even care if you claim this idea as your own genius. That is how strongly I feel about your need for this item in your kitchen. 

Hopefully by now I’ve got you wondering where you even find such a marvel of old-school technology. I searched locally, but failed, so I got mine from Target, where there are a few colors available. I try not to shop on Amazon whenever possible*, but it appears they sell them there, too. 

So reach, my little beauties! Reach to cabinet heights previously unavailable! And now that I’ve dispelled one of the only things** I know to be true, I will go lie down and scroll through my streaming menus with decision paralysis and never actually choosing what to watch, because that is who I am and I’ve come to accept that. 

*It’s just a whole thing, so it’s best not to get into it, but basically it boils down to: I think they’re a terrible company doing terrible things to good people, the economy, and the world. 

**”Vaccines work” is the other thing. Vaccinate. Your. Children