A 10-month-old’s guide to playing with stuff (aka, notes from 10 months)

“Look mom! Now I can roll off this thing straight onto my head!”

Mobility is a funny thing. Every movement a baby makes toward that pinnacle of baby milestones–walking–makes parents have this sequence of reactions:

  1. “OHMYGOSH! He’s [insert milestone here: rolling over, sitting, crawling, pulling up, etc.]! OHMYGOSHHEDIDITAGAIN!”
  2. Grab camera
  3. Take 55 pictures and videos of the moment exactly preceding and following the milestone, but somehow manage to not get a good picture or video of the event again
  4. Get excited to see the milestone for the next week
  5. Realize that this newfound mobility actually means a new level of chasing a baby and watching as he manages to inch himself toward certain death
  6. Immediately put out every possible toy “guaranteed” to amuse and/or educate your child in some way.
  7. Watch child look incredulously at the toy, then at you, then toss the toy aside and again move toward certain death

Wait, what? 

En garde!

“Your toys? I laugh at your toys! This cabinet is much more enjoyable to explore! Ha HA!”

Yup. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a million-and-one times. It’s simply the darnedest thing.

Before I quit my job almost a year ago to become a stay-at-home mom, one of my most favorite work tasks in the world was making flow charts. I would make them unprompted. I think I once made a flow chart about flow charting. I made a verb out of flow charts. There’s something about a flow chart that just makes sense with how my mind works. I find them calming. A year later as I was pulling my son out of the dog’s water dish for the fifth time that hour it hit me, just like it hits every mom in my situation:

I could flowchart this. 

Oh, that’s not the natural reaction? Most people don’t find joy in flow charts? Is that why “Zen and the art of flowcharting” isn’t a thing, let alone a bestseller? Well then. Ahem.

What’s done is done and now here I sit with a flow chart on how my 10-month-old seems to decide what to do in any given moment I set him on the floor.

So now, I bestow onto you this: my 10-month-old’s guide to how to play. (Feel free to click for the full version.)

I will play with that