I’m 6 months along? Are you sure about that?

what come after 6There I was, going along, minding my own business, being all pregnant and whatnot, and then I did some math when I turned 26 weeks pregnant.

What does that mean, you ask? I am officially 6 months pregnant now. I don’t know how this happened. Who authorized this?!

There is just something different about hitting six months that seems to make it all seem…real…er.

I started thinking about “6 months” in a variety of different ways, such as:

  • Two full work quarters
  • Half a year
  • 3 months to go until we get an incredibly needy roommate who is going to depend on me to sustain him, which is a sign he clearly needs to reassess his applicant screening process
  • 90 more days to go until my fur babies receive a new human puppy sibling
  • Half the time I’ve lived in Charlotte
  • 11 weeks to full term

Then I started looking up gestation periods of various animals, because clearly that is a normal thing to do.

Baby baboon sez: I judge your internet usage.

Baby baboon sez: I judge your Internet usage.

Hint: if you are a mom, or ever plan to be a mom be glad you are neither a sperm whale nor an elephant. Also, apparently, I have now surpassed the healthy birthing time for a baboon. These are things I cannot un-know.

Something about the idea that there are only 3 more months to go seems absolutely absurd to me.

All of a sudden this nursery with a few assortment of random baby items stacked haphazardly in it actually needs to come together. The closet we love to hang our millions of coats and jackets we gathered while in Chicago, along with all spare linens and general crap we have amassed, needs to go somewhere since this little person is going to have more stuff than I could ever imagine. Then, lord help us all, the organizing and sorting of baby “stuff” is another thing. Didn’t we have 6 months left 10 minutes ago?!

And, while we’re at it, where the hell is this glorious “nesting instinct” that’s supposed to kick in magically? Can I get me some of that stuff to jumpstart this nonsense?!

The thing is, I know it will get done. There is no use freaking out when I do, in fact, still have three months left. That’s another quarter of a year! I still have to tack on a baby puma to this little baboon! (Yes, I know, I’ll stop now.)

For the time being, I need to harness that zen energy (zenergy? anyone?) I found a little while back and just start little by little really making progress on this baby readiness stuff. And when that fails, all-out panic and tears will ensue. Maybe I’ll even get a dose of the nesting thing so many people keep talking about.

All I know is, 6 months has never seemed quite so short or so long a time.

P.S. In case you were curious, sperm whales take anywhere from 15.7 months to 19 months to fully bake (which is 1.3-1.6 years) and elephants take 20 months (1.7 years). THE MORE YOU KNOW. YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT.

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