Stroller Shopping: Round 1

In case you have never gone stroller shopping, I am going to help you imagine what it is like for someone who basically had no clue what they were getting into in their life.

Imagine suddenly being in the market for rutabagas. (In case you have no idea what a rutabaga is, please feel free to Wikipedia this root vegetable.) You may vaguely have an idea of what a rutabaga is, what kinds of things you’d like to do with the rutabaga, but really other than a broad, “my vegan co-oping friend who has never had refined sugar in her life talks about eating rutabagas” knowledge, you have no idea what you’re in for.

So you go to the root vegetable store. And your adventure begins.

This is apparently what rutabagas look like. Only slightly less scary than strollers.

This is apparently what rutabagas look like. Only slightly less scary than strollers.

Here you are confronted with more rutabagas and rutabaga questions than you have ever encountered. What types of meals are you going to create? What lifestyle would you envision yourself with your new rutabaga-eating habits in 3 years? What kind of storage do you need/have for your rutabagas? Do you need the leaves as well as the vegetable?

Here’s a hint to all these questions: YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You aimlessly start picking up rutabagas and feeling them like you have some idea of how they should look and feel. You imagine yourself cooking, mashing, slicing the rutabagas and then what your life will be like after 3-5 years of eating rutabagas. Then people will start giving you opinions about the rutabagas, and what worked for them, and what didn’t. Maybe you don’t NEED a rutabaga at all! Just go with turnips! Then what about the old-timers who will give you THEIR opinions about what rutabagas were like in THEIR days, and you don’t need any of these fancy rutabaga-prepping accessories, you sissywimp.

And so forth and so on.

You leave the store with a few ideas and some vague knowledge of rutabagas to think on, perplexed and very much wondering if this new rutabaga-consuming lifestyle you seem to have chosen for yourself wasn’t something you maybe should have put off for a while, and ohmygodwhathaveIdone.

This, my friends, is stroller shopping.

After the stroller section I couldn’t make it through the rest of Buy, Buy Baby despite the great sales people because honestly I just wanted to climb into one of the strollers and be wheeled out. I think I have narrowed it down to two choices, but I am sure that many more shopping trips will abound, and my pros and cons lists will be immense.

It’s honestly funny that you can’t drink while pregnant because the thing that would truly take the edge off rutabaga shopping is a big ol’ box bottle glass of Pinot.

Stroller Shopping: 1, Me: 0.

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