A recent apparent conversation I had with God recently: 

Me: If one good thing came out of the last time, I thought, at least we got a head start on all the shopping and books! I can totally do this!!

God: Ha. Hahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Hehehehe. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *snort.*

Because guess what. It’s not just one baby, it’s TWO.

I went in for a 6-week ultrasound (again, yes, very early but since I’m now in the “high risk” category that’s standard procedure) and the amazing tech showed me two fingers. I laughed thinking it was a joke. She asked if she had to actually say it and, in fact, she did.

She typed it on the screen as plain as day: “2 BABIES!!!!!!”

I almost passed out. I literally almost passed out. Then I felt like I was in a bad movie where the person just hears an old cash register ringing up out of control with dollar signs flashing before my eyes. One baby is expensive but TWO?! Holy mother of god.

This is not a drill, people. There are two blobs of cells (fraternal) vying for resources in my belly. TWO OF THEM.

To say I’m not coherent right now is an understatement. Since my last name starts with a ‘W’ we had jokingly been referring to the baby as “Dublet”. Turns out that was way more right than we thought.

Allons…y?