The 7 Things You’re Never Supposed to Talk About

Have you heard of This American Life? It’s an NPR radio program that is probably the most life-changing discovery I have ever made. They cover the widest range of topics about American life – sometimes it’s tough subjects like doing a 4-month in-depth story where they sent multiple reporters into one of the toughest neighborhoods on the South Side of Chicago to cover the goings on at a high school, and sometimes it’s lighthearted with subjects like children at camp…and everything in between. I highly recommend it – you can download one podcast a week. Try it out, or listen to the archives streaming here. Continue reading

Holy crap. It’s twins.

A recent apparent conversation I had with God recently: 

Me: If one good thing came out of the last time, I thought, at least we got a head start on all the shopping and books! I can totally do this!!

God: Ha. Hahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Hehehehe. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *snort.*

Because guess what. It’s not just one baby, it’s TWO.

I went in for a 6-week ultrasound (again, yes, very early but since I’m now in the “high risk” category that’s standard procedure) and the amazing tech showed me two fingers. I laughed thinking it was a joke. She asked if she had to actually say it and, in fact, she did.

She typed it on the screen as plain as day: “2 BABIES!!!!!!”

I almost passed out. I literally almost passed out. Then I felt like I was in a bad movie where the person just hears an old cash register ringing up out of control with dollar signs flashing before my eyes. One baby is expensive but TWO?! Holy mother of god.

This is not a drill, people. There are two blobs of cells (fraternal) vying for resources in my belly. TWO OF THEM.

To say I’m not coherent right now is an understatement. Since my last name starts with a ‘W’ we had jokingly been referring to the baby as “Dublet”. Turns out that was way more right than we thought.

Allons…y?

you've GOT to be kidding me right now.

Be warned: poop’s about to get real.

Warning: this post is about poop. Feel free to move along if this makes you uncomfortable. However, if you’d like a natural remedy for some, er, “clogged plumbing”, aka, constipation, then read on.

I have no doubt that pregnancy is one of the “most magical, best times of your life”, but sometimes in the first trimester you get some of the…how do I say it…not so “best time of your life” symptoms before the awesome feelings come through. To add insult to injury, you can’t tell anyone why you’re exhausted because it’s too early yet to tell anyone. Overall it’s a poopy situation. Except that it’s not. (Ha! See what I did there?) And so I needed a solution to unclog my pipes, STAT.

Quick back story: I switched to a prenatal vitamin without iron (with the doc’s okay, of course, since I eat a lot of leafy greens and get a ton of iron in my diet on a normal basis) because iron can clog things up even more. My OB warned that I might get clogged up even so, and she was right.

With my “OMG YOU’RE HAVING A BABY HERE ARE THE 3483847 THINGS NOT TO EAT” package you get on your first appointment (paraphrase) there was a hidden nugget of information with a secret “magic mixture”. It’s so simple I figured there was no way it would work, but the beautiful thing is that it did.

Three ingredients: unsweetened applesauce, prune juice, wheat bran. (Do not confuse wheat bran with wheat germ, by the way. After much googling I learned they are VERY different things. I had to go to Whole Foods to get my wheat bran, where I could get it in the free-for-all section where it was $0.69/pound, and the amount I got was probably a cup’s worth for $0.22. I was getting more excited by the minute!

Here are the full instructions:

Ingredients: 

  • 2 cups unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 cup prune juice
  • 2 tbsp. wheat bran

Instructions: 

Mix all three ingredients together. Take two tablespoons (spoonfuls) at night. I keep mine in the fridge, and once I remember to get them at the store, will store in a mason jar.

Everyone, it couldn’t be easier. Put down the Metamucil and go for the natural remedies. Sometimes they just flat out work.

DSC_0550 DSC_0554

February Fitness Challenge

Late January, I joined the local YMCA in an attempt to get out of the house and stop being the recluse I secretly am get healthier and happier. I then also pledged something: I will go to a fitness class of some kind every day in February. Every. Day. Some days will be yoga (break days) and others the more intense ones such as “athletic conditioning”, etc. Finding out about the baby only made me double down on the pledge thinking of the energy levels, sickness, and you know, health of the body this baby is trying to live off for the next 9 months.

I made it 9 days.

Yesterday I was so tired, so nauseated, and so “but the Olympics are on” that I just…couldn’t do it. I ate ice cream.

And you want to know what else? I don’t even feel bad a little bit.

There. I said it. Because while goals and expectations are great to shoot for, if you don’t make it there’s always tomorrow. And so that’s what I did. Instead of throwing in the towel for February, I picked myself up again and just went back into it. If I eat ice cream and watch people be athletic instead of go be athletic myself for a day, tomorrow will still come and the gym will still be there. And, gasp, the gym was totally still there. And class was just as fun as it was before I broke the February Fitness Challenge.

The jury is still out on if this whole endeavor is actually letting me have more energy or not. For those who have not been pregnant before or for those who might be male: imagine staying up until 3AM for a week straight and then being expected to get up at 6AM and trudge through your entire day and not be able to tell anyone why you’re tired and that you’re not lazy you’re just going to curl up under your desk and sleep for 3 hours. That is how tired you feel no matter how many damn hours of sleep you get a night. I have been told energy returns at the second trimester and for everyone’s sake I hope it’s true. There was one night where the thought of chopping up some garlic for a recipe I was making was so devastatingly surreal in how much energy that would take I cried. And, yes, that’s also the hormones talking, but seriously. It was like two cloves of garlic. C’mon now.

February, you’re still going to be my “establish fitness no matter what” month, but you’ve also turned into, “hey cut yourself a little slack, too” month.

With some ice cream.

Congrats! It’s a blue line! For Real!

The doctor found the exact same thing I did. A blue line. I am 4 weeks pregnant, and if my calculations are correct I’ll be due 10/10/14.

But those are details. The more important thing: I love my OB. No, seriously. I. LOVE. My OB.

Not only does she have my exact same sense of humor, she is a real person who has had three children of her own and is realistic. She performed my surgery during the last pregnancy and was more than supportive and helpful in everything I asked, no matter how stupid or how weird the questions. Nay, she encourages the stupid and weird questions. She spends time with me when I come to her.

And when I showed up, her reaction was just short of this.

She makes me SO excited to have a child. She explained all the tests, and since I am going to get a new test called the Panorama at 9-10 weeks that tells the sex of the baby, she’s going to hold the results until after the 12-13 week ultrasound and we know things are ok. (The 12-13 week ultrasound was when we last found out about the anencephaly last time.)

Anyhow, I love knowing that I’ve already found a doctor I love and know I can trust completely. My next appointment is in 2 weeks – or at 6 weeks pregnant. It’s earlier than most women will go in but apparently I now fall into the “high risk pregnancy” category no matter what. Once you have an abnormal pregnancy, it’ll be that way for life. So it goes.

Onward and upward!

Allons-y!

Pregnancy – What?!

Tumblr post here.

Well, it turns out I’m the proud owner of a blue line. Or a plus sign. Or a pink line. Ok, ok, I am the proud owner all of the above.

I just took 4 pregnancy tests and they came back positive.

Why 4? I could say that I’m overly scientific and want to make sure that I’m actually pregnant and get multiple data sets, but the truth it, I’m just plain old neurotic and can’t believe it.

After losing a baby at week 13 to anencephaly in October (too horrible to imagine), we decided to take it easy. We had no thoughts of kids for at least 5 years before we got pregnant, but then accidentally got done knocked up while on the pill. Oops. And then once the horror and shock of that wore off, the idea of having a kid suddenly got stuck in our minds. We COULD do this?? Our parents AREN’T horrified and shocked that we’re teenagers having a child (what it felt like, despite being 27 years old, both gainfully employed in steady jobs, and with a 2-bedroom apartment in a safe neighborhood)?!

So there the idea stuck. A baby. So January, we said. It’ll just have to all get better in 2014 for us, and we’ll go off the pill again, just see what happens. It will probably be a year before anything happens!

More like a month. Literally, first try.

I will never, ever, ever be upset about this. I just want to say that right here, right now. We are so truly blessed to be able to conceive when so many struggle that I can’t ever be angry. Just shocked. Truly shocked.

Because I can’t “tell” anyone yet about the pregnancy other than the husband and the closest friends I have that would 100% notice when I refuse a glass of wine I decided to start a tumblr and blog to write down my thoughts, my journey, and my story.

So here we go world.

Pregnancy test is a go. And if you want to know what my face looked like after all four tests, it was literally, 100% this.